i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
