Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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