trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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