Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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