i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
did you just send me my own nude
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
