So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
