I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
