Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
