i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
True strength comes from lack of pants
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
