I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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