One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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