After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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