I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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