fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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