im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
