You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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