Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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