Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
