I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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