Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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