Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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