Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize