but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
