You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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