i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
