there's paper in my vomit.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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