I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
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My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
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Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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