She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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