i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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