I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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