Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize