Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
