Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Fuck appropriateness.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
