See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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