we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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