Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
