I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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