Three words: puerto rican gang bang
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
