I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize