I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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