went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
