Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
