it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
