Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
