remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
