i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
