these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize