i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize