Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
