My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
