addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Randomize
