theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
