she looked like the bat from fern gully.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
