We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
