i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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